Dante's Inferno: A Retelling in Prose - David Bruce

Bruce, David: - \nIt was a dark and stormy night. Suddenly a cry rang out, and on a hot summer night in 1954, Josephine, wife of Carl Bruce, gave birth to a boy - me. Unfortunately, this young married couple allowed Reuben Saturday, Josephine's brother, to name their first-born. Reuben, aka The Joker, decided that Bruce was a nice name, so he decided to name me Bruce Bruce. I have gone by my middle name -- David -- ever since.\n \n \n \n \n \nBeing named Bruce David Bruce hasn't been all bad. Bank tellers remember me very quickly, so I don't often have to show an ID. It can be fun in charades, also. When I was a counselor as a teenager at Camp Echoing Hills in Warsaw, Ohio, a fellow counselor gave the signs for sounds like and two words, then she pointed to a bruise on her leg twice. Bruise Bruise?\n \n \n \n \n \nOh yeah, Bruce Bruce is the answer!\n \n \n \n \n \nUncle Reuben, by the way, gave me a haircut when I was in kindergarten. He cut my hair short and shaved a small bald spot on the back of my head. My mother wouldn't let me go to school until the bald spot grew out again.\n \n \n \n \n \n\n \n \n \n \n \nOf all my brothers and sisters (six in all), I am the only transplant to Athens, Ohio. I was born in Newark, Ohio, and have lived all around Southeastern Ohio. However, I moved to Athens to go to Ohio University and have never left.\n \n \n \n \n \nAt Ohio U, I never could make up my mind whether to major in English or Philosophy, so I got a bachelor's degree with a double major in both areas, then I added a Master of Arts degree in English and a Master of Arts degree in Philosophy. Yes, I have my MAMA degree.\n \n \n \n \n \n\n \n \n \n \n \nCurrently, and for a long time to come (I eat fruits and veggies), I am spending my retirement writing books such as Nadia Comaneci: Perfect 10, The Funniest People in Comedy, Homer's Iliad: A Retelling in Prose, and William Shakespeare's Hamlet: A Retelling in Prose.\n \n \n \n \n \nIf all goes well, I will publish one or two books a year for the rest of my life. (On the other hand, a good way to make God laugh is to tell Her your plans.)\n \n \n \n \n \nBy the way, my sister Brenda Kennedy writes romances such as A New Beginning and Shattered Dreams.\n