Zeus Grants Stupid Wishes: A No-Bullshit Guide to World Mythology - Cory O'brien

This book casts a gimlet eye on the real world of mythology. And in his irreverent style, O'Brien recounts more than 100 classic myths from Greek, Norse, Egyptian, Japanese, and other cultures. While each version is authentic in terms of facts, this creative take on the originals presents the stories in a whole new light. \nFrom the creator of Myths Retold comes a hilarious collection of Greek, Norse, Chinese and even Sumerian myths retold in their purest, bawdiest forms \nAll our lives, we've been fed watered-down, PC versions of the classic myths. In reality, mythology is more screwed up than a schizophrenic shaman doing hits of unidentified...wait, it all makes sense now. In Zeus Grants Stupid Wishes, Cory O'Brien, creator of Myths RETOLD , sets the stories straight. These are rude, crude, totally sacred texts told the way they were meant to be told: loudly, and with lots of four-letter words. \n \nDid you know? \n \nCronus liked to eat babies. \n \nNarcissus probably should have just learned to masturbate. \n \nOdin got construction discounts with bestiality. \n \nIsis had bad taste in jewelry. \n \nGanesh was the very definition of an unplanned pregnancy. \n \nAnd Abraham was totally cool about stabbing his kid in the face. \n \nStill skeptical? Here are a few more gems to consider: \n \n- Zeus once stuffed an unborn fetus inside his thigh to save its life after he exploded its mother by being too good in bed. \n \n- The entire Egyptian universe was saved because Sekhmet just got too hammered to keep murdering everyone. \n \n- The Hindu universe is run by a married couple who only stop murdering in order to throw sweet dance parties...on the corpses of their enemies. \n \n- The Norse goddess Freyja once consented to a four-dwarf gangbang in exchange for one shiny necklace. \n \nAnd there's more dysfunctional goodness where that came from.\n